It’s that strange time between Christmas and New Years when it doesn’t feel quite like a holiday, and yet, the new year hasn’t officially started, so you’re just kind of wafting around wondering what to do and how to act. It was a great, albeit strange holiday for me. Ari (aka LionCat) is doing well right now, but because of the severity of his heart failure, that could change at any time. I cherish every moment I have with him and do my best not to stress over it. With the Adenomyosis, I’ve been experiencing panic attacks and anxiety, something I never had to deal with when my hormones were normal. My OBGYN was kind enough to prescribe me some Xanax, so that’s helped considerably, but it’s still been a rough go of it in spots.
A good chunk of the ‘rough go’ part also has to do with not getting any writing or writing work done. It’s a vicious cycle of ‘worry, exhausted from being worried, then recovering from worrying’ wherein writing work gets set aside, then stared at, then fallen asleep on, only to wake up and realize that nothing functional got done. This includes everything from writing new stuff, to working on things I have for a critique partner. Then I have to temper my frustrations and remind myself that I’m dealing with a dying cat whom I love dearly, and most of this pertains to him and just enjoying what time I have with him.
But we had a wonderful Christmas, and I firmly believe this will be the start of a great New Year!