It’s that strange time between Christmas and New Years when it doesn’t feel quite like a holiday, and yet, the new year hasn’t officially started, so you’re just kind of wafting around wondering what to do and how to act. It was a great, albeit strange holiday for me. Ari (aka LionCat) is doing well right now, but because of the severity of his heart failure, that could change at any time. I cherish every moment I have with him and do my best not to stress over it. With the Adenomyosis, I’ve been experiencing panic attacks and anxiety, something I never had to deal with when my hormones were normal. My OBGYN was kind enough to prescribe me some Xanax, so that’s helped considerably, but it’s still been a rough go of it in spots.
A good chunk of the ‘rough go’ part also has to do with not getting any writing or writing work done. It’s a vicious cycle of ‘worry, exhausted from being worried, then recovering from worrying’ wherein writing work gets set aside, then stared at, then fallen asleep on, only to wake up and realize that nothing functional got done. This includes everything from writing new stuff, to working on things I have for a critique partner. Then I have to temper my frustrations and remind myself that I’m dealing with a dying cat whom I love dearly, and most of this pertains to him and just enjoying what time I have with him.
But we had a wonderful Christmas, and I firmly believe this will be the start of a great New Year!
Things have gotten crazy, as they tend to do, so not only am I very behind in writing blog posts, but I’m also behind in actually writing anything at all. Since I’m what I would term an ’emotional writer’ meaning that I exact immense pleasure from creating stories, and go at it from a passionate perspective, rather than an analytical ‘I will write 2,000 words today on these sections of plot’ sort of writer, I can be greatly influenced by whatever is going on in my life. If it’s not good stuff, my writing can suffer.
Recently, the ‘not good’ has had to do with my beloved LionCat, Ari. Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook will know this already, as I’ve been posting updates on his condition. *For now* he *seems* to be responding positively to current treatment. I remain paranoid and dubious of celebrating overly, as his condition is quite serious, but I do embrace and cherish every moment I have with him. Hence the overabundance of photos and updates on Facebook. With LionCat comfortable, and happy for the time being, I was able to crack open a WIP last night, and write a whole 5 sentences before Old Lady Cat demanded I hold her. When a cat that’s somewhere between 17-19 years old tells you to hold her, you freaking hold her. But still, I got about 5 sentences written, which is more than I’ve written in the last five weeks. So I’ll take it!
I’m writing this at work, and have just been handed a new inventory sheet to go count, so I’ll leave off for now. But I’ll leave you with yet one more photo of my dearest LionCat!